Tuesday night is sports night, but not for me

Tuesday generally means football on the telly downstairs for Mark and friends, and for me it means a bout of computer games upstairs. People like Stephen or Ian or someone else from Mark’s life appear on our doorstep with beer and crisps, and they go into the living room and watch a game together.

Mostly they just talk loud, and hoot, and cheer, or protest. It’s nice, relaxing to sit upstairs and listen to them. Sometimes I go downstairs and take part, but most of the time I just keep to myself. It’s become a habit over the years we’ve been together. One of the little compromises of our marriage, I suppose.

Sometimes Mark wants me to come down and take part a whole evening, and I like that he wants to invite me, but we’ve generally unspokenly agreed that Tuesday’s are like this. Sunday night dinners with his parents and Aunty fell by the way-side, so I don’t really have a ‘counter’ to these sporting evenings.

But I just don’t have that much of a keen interest in sports, not like he does. Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite a competitive person, and enjoy competing with other people. I just can’t transfer that trait over to the telly. I can’t engage in two teams I don’t really care about. So, I keep away.

While he drinks beer with the lads downstairs as some prerecorded game plays, I can lose myself in writing or gaming or one of my many projects. I have far too many projects for my own good, to be honest, and sometimes I can’t even decide which I want to work on. I open my android app, then close it five minutes later. I try to write, but stop. I trawl social media or the web for something interesting, but lose interest. I game.

It is one way to live together, I suppose, to find the spaces to be apart in the same house; doing different things. It’s not healthy to do everything together. One needs to mind one’s own things, in isolation. And these Tuesday nights work well enough for that, right? Just like me going to floorball once a week, to participate in team sports which I said above that I’m not that interested in.

I set aside some money for the Bodum kettle, and I’m going to go and get it next week. That will be my reward for being patient with his sport nights. :)

The price of stylistic compromise is a tub of meh

Sometimes Mark and I enjoy a good battle of wills because of style. If you remember, we had a long running battle over a sofa; a hideous piece of seventies beige with a tartan pattern. My revulsion for the sofa was somewhat relieved by keeping a sheet over it because of our animals, but I knew what lurked beneath the covers.

The kettle we did not get. I still want it!

The kettle we did not get. I still want it!

Mark prefers a more rustic and Edwardian style of home. The old Etonian in him wants Chesterfield and precious woods and clutter. Bookshelves should be laden. Tables should be filled with trinkets. Photographs in silver frames should stand back to back on the free surfaces.

I, however, seek to turn our domicile into a sleek and modern home with sensible storage. The Nordic in me see function over form, and seek efficiency and order. I want plastic boxes to hide the clutter, and I want to have as much as possible stored away out of sight but still nearby for easy retrieval.

The result is a mix and match, like our kitchen, which is a clash of these differing ideals – or a compromise of them. So, today, when we went down to the town to find a replacement kettle – our old one developed an electrical fault – our different tastes came to the front.

He wanted a hideous piece of porcelain with curly cues and a floral pattern. Of course it was not electrical. I wanted a Chrome electrical one made by a Danish company called Bodum. In the end we compromised on a piece that neither of us thinks is particularly nice.

Our kitchen is turning into a battle ground of will, with meh-like solutions because both of us are stubborn as oxen. When Auntie came over, she rolled her eyes at us when we told her. Her suggestion was that we should get a huge house with two kitchens, two bathrooms, two bedrooms, two of every kind of room. Then we could divide the house and decorate it as we want. Sometimes, we are so typically stereotypical.