Today the world has gone a little mad because a couple of inches of snow has fallen on my bit of the country, and that has made the police go out to warn the public to “Be Careful” and prepare for a winter Armageddon School closed early, and will probably remain closed for now. With a bit of luck, it will be closed on Monday as well, which mean that we might get a three and a half day weekend.
The Head Master motivated the school closure with “the severe weather situation”, and I’m looking out of the window and seeing a gentle snow-fall. It just goes to show the different expectations people have in different places of the world. The contrast between those expectations is quite funny.
This, what I would call a mild snow-fall, becomes extreme weather. But I’m glad for the snow. At least we have some for a day or two or three, or for however long it lasts before the temperature creep back up to ten C again.
Now that I’m no longer a potential candidate that will bolster this school’s chances of placing someone in Oxbridge, the Student Councillor and the Year Tutor seem to have lost interest in me.
I met them yesterday, and instead of the usual discussion about how to prepare and what I could do, the meeting took five minutes, and I never got the chance to ask what I could do next.
It was all polite and that, but there is a disinterested politeness and there’s a needy politeness. I suppose I’m no longer someone to hold up in the prospectuses as an Oxbridge placement, in order to get more people to enroll here later.
Or that is a very cynical thought, but then again, when it comes to the school positions and league tables, I’ve always been suspicious of the motives. It is hard to describe the dual nature of this school. On the one hand, the teaching is exemplary in my opinion, although I haven’t had much experience of other schools. On the other hand they’re so obsessed with league tables and positions and scores.
For those that fail to achieve the scores while there is a chance to improve, they pour resources and man-power to improve prospects. But why? Is it to help the students, or is it to keep the standards up of the totality of the school? For us failures that nothing can help, we’re left to graduate quietly. I suppose. But that might be one of those cynical thoughts again.
I’m being unreasonable. My literature teacher speculated that it might have been my special classes last year that signalled a lack of knowledge in the subject. Because I needed help catching up with the other students, it might have signalled that I had a lacking of something in my literature knowledge. Then she praised me, and that made me feel better.
Praise from people I respect mean a fair bit, after all. And I really respect her because while she is such a bitch sometimes, she knows her stuff and is incredibly fair.
I’ve been sort of blessed with knowing a couple of teachers like that. My old music teacher back in Sweden was sort of like that. She loved her subject, and demanded respect for the subject, and demanded that we work our asses off for her approval. And we did, because if we did get the approval it meant that we were approved by someone that obviously knew their stuff. The approval had meaning.
The relationship I have with my parents came under stark illumination after I was rejected. Mum tried to tell me that there were other options. Dad started to speculate that if I had stayed in Sweden, I could have gotten into the Swedish version of Oxbridge – Lund or Uppsala Universities.
I am so sick and tired of running like a hamster in a wheel. I am seriously considering just aiming for a good mark at the A-levels, and then take some time off to figure out what the hell I’m going to do next. At this moment, I don’t have a flipping clue.
Now I’m going to take Mark out in the snow, make snow angels, and kiss him on the nose in the dark because at least there’s one thing I know about my life. There’s one constant. There’s one fixture. It’s hard to believe that in little over six months he’ll be my husband.
I can’t wait.