In Chaos-theory, the butterfly effect is described as the sensitive dependence on initial conditions. A small change in one place in a deterministic non-linear system can result in large differences to a later state. The flapping of a butterfly’s wings in one part of the world can set in motion what will become a hurricane weeks later in another part of the world.
Mark, like me, didn’t get in. The result came yesterday, and Mark has been curiously nonchalant and disappointed at the same time. Mum has been raging over the phone. His parents have shrugged, and accepted that such a place is not for the “likes of them”.
And this furnace of a mind that live inside of the man I love will remain untapped for now. Our lives seem set for the next four years. We’ll live here, in this house, with the dogs – much like we’ve lived together for two years now. Things aren’t changing, only the location where we go to in the morning.
In Chaos-theory, this could be the butterfly flapping its wings. I’d like to think so. I’d hate to think that class and pedigree was what sealed our applications. I don’t think that is the case because that would be blaming an outside force for what is most likely within ourselves.