I said I would cut down on the book buying, so when me and Mark met up in town after school to do the weekly shopping, I had about an hour to waste on my own, and of course I headed to the book shops, and of course I broke my promise to myself… I wish I had some self-control sometimes. I now have three new books on my desk.
At least they were second-hand and didn’t cost too much, but when Mark met up with me, and I was stuck with my nose far into one of them, he just rolled his eyes and said: “What was it you said again?” My man teases me. I would see it as a form of domestic abuse, but he’s so hot at the moment that I can’t think ill of him.
Yesterday I was in a seriously bad mood because of course Dad didn’t approve of my job, and he spent about forty minutes telling me that a job would make my grades slip, my future dim, and my education the equivalent of one year’s trade school. I didn’t know how taxing work was, and I was being silly and immature. I should think before I acted, he said. For once. “And if you need more money, just say so,” he says, as if that wouldn’t bring another hour-long lecture about the value of money and how hard my parents have to work to keep me fed and housed.
My reasoning had nothing to do with work, education, the future or the past. He just doesn’t understand, and sometimes I wish that he would.
Mark is off on his brick-laying job this weekend, so that means I will get loads of time to work on my little game project. I also have a lot of homework, damn. The view of the pile makes me want to cry. How could people be so cruel as to give homework over the weekend?
Weekends are for fun, excitement, reading, and tinkering with impossible little project so that you don’t think about school at all. I can say like Ebenezer Scrooge, “Bah humbug”. Yes, I’m reading a Christmas Carol in school, two months before Christmas.
It’s a bit unfair though because so much of what I do in school is about writing essays, and if you don’t mind me saying so I’m pretty good at it. I have to write an essay about the nature of the state, because the state is the focus of this unit in History.
I’ve never actually written so much in my life since I moved to this school. Nearly everything is about essays in my subjects. For philosophy I’m working on another essay too, but that’s not due until midweek. Still, sometimes I have the distinct sense that they created these subjects and the syllabus for me.
My essay in Philosophy should raise a few eyebrows as I’m writing about the disconnect of epistemological knowledge and the political philosophy of liberty. My thesis is that the limits of epistemological knowledge short-circuits the idea of liberty, because there is no way of knowing things without inherent bias. That’s a mouthful, isn’t it? I feel a bit like a troll.
I know one girl in particular will be furious and rage against it, and see it as an expression of white male privilege. I’m quite looking forward to that, because I’m sure there will be some fireworks from the partisans in my year that will rationalise their stances, and not accept my idea of limitations on the ability to know things.
Objective knowledge doesn’t have a place in political philosophy, and therefore there is no such thing as right and wrong, moral and immoral, when it comes to politics. Any side that claims it, must be scrutinised for partisan bias extra much. Or that could be my own partisan bias that is irrelevant, in reality, because I want to rationalise it to be so.
I love philosophy.