There is just something special about walking home in the half-rain. It’s not cold, just a bit chilly, and you have that fresh feel in your nostrils when the rains have cleared out the pollution and fog and what-not that gather on a busy week-day.

So, you go there, and feel like there’s nothing to worry about in the world, with the chill film of moisture on your head. And do you know what? When Mark’s hair is wet, and flops about under its own weight far past his eyes, and you see the slight waviness of it, he’s beautiful.

He is so fucking beautiful that I can’t quite seem to breathe, and I just want to hug him – which is highly impractical when you’re walking home in the rain. Despite wanting the moment to last forever, standing there in the rain is also not too bright.

Do you ever just stop and feel so alive that you think you’re going to split in two pieces, right there and then? That you almost freeze from the intensity of that feeling? That you feel everything in a moment; from the flowing of the blood through the veins, to the atoms hitting your nostrils?

***

We went to see the film “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”, which premiered here on the 3rd I think, and it was a great film. Emma Watson was in it, and it was a bit odd seeing Hermione playing a “normal girl”. Nothing of the arrogant know-it-all anywhere to be seen.

These American teen movies are always so strange, at least to me. The glimpses of life in the High Schools seem so much like a theatre that lasts all the hours of the day, and what role you play is decided by what group you’re in.

I recognise things, of course, but other things seem so alien, somehow. Like, a shared experience that you’ve never had. I can see myself in a role, but I’ve never played that role. What would I be? The geeky outsider like in this film?

In a way it seems like a distilled version of our class system. It seems as rigid and unbending, and whomever falls outside of “the system” appear to spend a miserable four years in High School.

Advertisements