It’s Friday, and I’m sitting here with a school bag that is empty! Unlike the last few weekends, there isn’t ANY homework to do! I almost feel lost, bewildered, befuddled, and bedeviled. What should I do with two whole days of freedom during which I don’t have to stick my nose in a book?

Could there be normal things like…. going to Stephen and drinking eleven shots of booze while trying to hump Mark’s leg when I get drunk enough? Could there be normal things like… actually sleeping until I wake up instead of setting the alarm clock at eight because I need to put in a full day of study even on a Sunday? Could there be normal things like… playing computer games til 2 am – after having drunk eleven shots of booze while trying to hump Mark’s leg when he’s not looking?

I don’t know. I’m too confused about this state of affairs, and may have to go and lie down from the effort of thinking about it.

***

I and Mark had a bad day yesterday. Thunderclouds formed during the evening, and we spent most of the evening glaring darkly at each other. The stress and exhaustion finally let lightning discharge – and today it feels like the day after the rains. Cleaner, brighter, fresher – and someone follows me around like a puppy dog and wants to hug. Who am I to refuse that?

He becomes beset with an adorable sense of guilt when we have argued, and wants to reassure the poor broken and insecure vessel that is me. I lap it up of course, because I like it when he’s huggy. It is strange how you can become so enamoured with simple touch. My parents, my friends, aren’t really the huggy type. It’s more manhugs. Arse sticking out, leaning forward, a quick pat on the back, and then it’s back to normal.

Not that Mark and I behave that silly, but my parents do. We’re not very huggy, and we don’t really touch each other like that. I suppose that side of us is typically Swedish.

***

Earlier I was invated to join a band by a guy from Mark’s school who heard that I could possibly sing, and who wanted to see if I was any good. After school today I spent about an hour jamming and chatting with those blokes.

I’m hopeful. They play a sort of blues/rnb/rock type thing with a bit of an electronica twist, and then seem to have covered most of the bases in what I’m interested in performing. I’ve promised that I should make a recording, and when I do I should have something new to post up here.

Maybe I can make that into a weekend project, so that I don’t think about that other thing next Wednesday. Right?

***

I wanted to add an apology. I know I’ve been lax in answering your comments. Usually I just have enough energy to write these posts before I crawl away for a few hours of mindless relaxation. These last weeks have been the most draining of my life. I promise I’ll do better this weekend, when I’ve caught up with myself.

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