I have noticed something, lately, and that is that it is wise to keep my big mouth shut and go with the flow. This rather than stand on principle and consistency.

It think that this creates an atmosphere that will lead to a happier and more tranquil home. Particularly when you’re away to visit the in-laws for a couple of days, and they do things that ordinarily would annoy the crap out of me. Like… dragging us around churches and cathedrals to listen so choirs and prelates sing or preach. I think I’ve mentioned that my in-laws are more of the sort of ‘well the vicar’s nice, and I believe in something, don’t know if it’s whatever’.

It is the usual mushy, conflict-phobic non-committal Christianity that is the most prevalent in these parts, where Jesus was a nice bloke that never said anything naughty and confrontational. They also want a church wedding, and their support for same-sex marriage (apart from the fact that their son is together with me) is probably mostly because they want the Big Show they themselves had. Mark’s mum wants a good cry when the groom kisses the groom at the altar, basically.

So, during our visit there, we visited not only one concert with a religious motif, but we also went to have a look at Salisbury Cathedral – a building that have a few notable quirks. Such as owning one of the four originals of the Magna Carta, and the one that is the best preserved. It also has the oldest church bell in the country, and the tallest spire. It’s absolutely massive too.

It is in this situation that the realisation struck me to keep my mouth shut about all these church things they were doing. Mark was happy; the in-laws were happy. I was mostly so bored by all the religious influences of the visit, but I bit my tongue to hold it. Mark and I did stand there holding hands not five feet from the vicar., so I feel like my dagger eyes should have driven the point home to the poor hapless fellow.

I keep forgetting that Mark used to be a choir boy. He’s used to unhitching his mind during these interminable goings on. That’s where the bit about shutting up, and going with the flow comes in. It would be a most useful trait, don’t you think, for me to develop as well?

That said, it was a lovely visit when I wasn’t keeping quiet for the sake of the family peace. As always at this time of the year, I’ve eaten so much food. And I got a new laptop from mum via Auntie. On the 24th when Auntie, her daughter, and my Scots cousin came over to us, she revealed that Mum and her have been conspiring behind my back. Mum had sent the presents directly to my Auntie.

I also got clothes, sweets – like a tonne of chocolate – and a pinkish scarf that I’m going to start using because it is so camp that it is unbelievable. I should surprise a few at school when I go back there wearing that thing.

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