Apart from the fact that I am “the spawn of Satan that consciously and deliberately live in sin with another man”, overly religious people and I generally don’t interact in my daily life. In fact, I struggle to think of anyone in my year that ever talks about religion, and much less professes an evangelical zeal about it. Yesterday, however, religion and I ran into each other, and I lost.

devilcartoonIt came in the form of a neat looking couple, man and woman, that appeared on my doorstep at half past eight in the morning, and brightly proclaimed that they were here to inquire about my relationship with the Saviour. They smiled warmly, light up by their internal beliefs, and seemed so friendly and nice, and offered me the Watchtower to read and be enlightened by.

I however offered no such civility because they were in my way, and I had about ten minutes to go to the bus, and they were religious people on my doorstep! I make some concessions to Mark and his parents and that, and don’t push my heathen opinions as fervently as I sometimes want to, but I don’t extend that favour to everyone.

However, we had not even gotten around to sinning properly yet because it’s not easy to start a good sinful day these days. We’re lazy, and creatures of comfort, and prefer a good snog in a soft bed or in the comfy sofa. Furthermore, I’m not a morning person at all. My snogging performance is squarely connected to the levels of Theine in my blood-stream. Before nine or ten in the morning, those levels are microscopic. Thus there was little sin for these two to possibly complain about.

When Mark came out to see why I was angrily shouting in the street, it was far too late to claim any sort of moral victory here. Nothing of the indifferent snub to people who bother me in my own home at such an early hour. No aloof condescension for the impulses that compel people to bother other people at that hour. No dignified indifference for the intrusion of unwanted religion in my life.

It was full on the throttle with accusations, invectives, and interjections about their sort of people. When Mark sent me on my way with a kiss and a quick slap to my bottom, mainly I think to get me going so that the neighbours wouldn’t come out to see what the fuss was all about, the frozen smiles on the neat couple said they had had enough, and they quickly escaped while the love of my life chided me for waking up everyone, including the dead at the cemetery a mile away.

Then, when I came to the bus, it had already left and I was half an hour late to school because I had to rush back and get the bike and then ride to the other town where my school is – a bike ride of about nine miles. Standing in the reception was the head master, and I got docked points for being late.

So, I ran into religion yesterday, and I lost. Both in dignity, peace of mind, and academically. I think I’ll have some more tea now.

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