While Mark and I say we “are married”, we are in fact Civil Partners under the old order of these things. Our nuptials happened before real and proper same-sex marriage was legal in this country. So, a little over a year ago, we had this tongue-twisting “ceremony of civil partnership”.
We have talked on and off about transforming our civil partnership into a real marriage, but we’ve let it go because it seems to be a lot of effort for no little gain. I mean, as I said, we don’t go around saying “we are in a civil partnership.” We say, “we’re married”.
So, it seems like a waste of money and time and everybody’s good graces. I can hear my dear-mother-in-law now. “But you’re already married!” The legal distinctions aren’t clear enough for us, much less so for other people. Not that I think she’d actually object to having a reprise of the whole crying in the aisle thing.
Dad would probably be very cold to the idea, and call it a waste of money. “What on earth would change legally if you did this? You’d have to repeat all the paperwork you’ve already done”. Which is true. “Nothing would change, except some lawyer’s wallet would be quite a bit fatter.” Also true. “Oh come on, Col. Grow up, and show some responsibility sometime. You’re nineteen years old! Time to join the real world.”
It is worrying that I can run a whole set of arguments with my father in my head, and have them replay in real life almost to the letter, isn’t it? I can think what my mother would say too, but it would be far more brutal and direct and scornful.
But, Mark and I talked about this, and wondered whether we should go through with it. We have decided to let the question lie until after the New Year’s. If we feel like it, we would then aim to redo the ceremony on the same day we were “civil partnered”, August 16th. You know, the thought kind of excites me.
Or it is an example of some romantic boneheadedness that I would go through with something like this just to make a point, or reinforce a point, or make a totally meaningless gesture that has no utility value beyond the statement.