Tonight I have engaged in politics, like everyone tells youth to do. I don’t know how many times lecturers, assistants, clerks, and random people have besieged us to go and vote. I have done far more than that, and have spent a pleasant evening stuffing bits of paper into envelopes while chatting with random strangers about life, the universe, and everything.
I do this politics thing sometimes. It’s like picking at a scab. I am so deeply cynical about our political system that if I reached inside of me, grabbed hold of my political interest, and wrung that interest over a barrel, I’d fix the fuel for the next year or so from the rancid oil that would pour out. Yet, I can’t keep away. I am political, yet repelled by our politics.
Mark was with me, and as usual we became something of a thing for a bit. First because it dawned on everyone that there were a couple of pooftahs in the same room as them, and secondly because we’re married. The latter usually shocks more than the former. We have to spend far more time explaining ourselves about that than we have to explain the queerer parts.
It was an uneventful evening, mostly. Stuffing hundreds of papers into hundreds of envelopes is not, I have to say, the apex of excitement on a Wednesday evening. I’m sorry, I have nothing interesting to say about that. What I can say is that the election is shaping up the way I want it to.
What is that then? Well, neither of the main parties – Labour and the Conservatives – should get a majority on their own. The Liberal Democrats must collapse, and they certainly look likely to. I will enjoy them being the British version of the German FDP. The Greens may, and I stress may, get another seat for a whooping total of two seats. And of course, the Scots are coming in large numbers this time.
This means that we will end up with two very weak large parties which can’t form a government on their own, and the Scots who won’t vote Labour this time will send a pack of demanding people who will whip Ed Miliband into shape if he wants power. The Scots will dangle the keys to No 10 before him, and craven as those Labour people are, they will surely grasp the chance with both hands.
So, Libdems crushed to maybe 20 seats in all, down from 57. Tories lose power because they won’t have any friends in the new parliament. They’ll have 270 seats or so. Labour gains power because they will have friends, or at least frenemies in the Scottish contingent. Both the Scots of the Scottish National Party and Labour will lock the Tories out of power. Also, Ms Sturgeon looks to be a hard task-master for the hapless Labour party. Greens get one or two seats. Plaid Cymru gets one more seat. Ukip will get very few seats, and will be an irrelevance, thankfully. So, yeah, it’s shaping up nice. And oh yeah, did I mention that the LibDems will lose status at the third party, and will become as invisible as the DUP? Yes.
Therefore, it was nice to get out of the house and stuff envelopes and savour the possibilities for electoral mayhem in two weeks time. It will be worth it to stay up until eight or nine in the morning to hear the results of the carnage.